“I get simple things: lentils, lettuce, onions,” Siham tells me from her sister Aida’s living room, just down the street from her rental apartment. She shows me old photos on her phone: her daughter as a little girl, her son’s blond curls, her husband Zulfiqar, who passed away 20 years ago. She allows a big smile, recounting the food she used to cook in the old house in Burj Qalawayh, before the war. “I used to make whatever I felt like. Meats, lunch gatherings, beach picnics in Tyre.” She swipes through yet more grainy photos.
“Those memories are gone with the rubble,” Siham sighs. She wears an outfit of all black.
Even for those who still have jobs, the Lebanese minimum wage is only about $312 per month after a government-approved increase last year, meaning many families and individuals spend entire paychecks on ever-more-expensive gas, groceries, and rent.
There are only small, fragmented glimmers of a social safety net to help those now struggling to scrape together enough for their daily needs. “Until now, we still don’t have a universal protection program,” according to Khaled Saad, an economist with The Policy Initiative in Beirut.
A new pension system adopted in 2023 has yet to go into effect, he explains, while the budget for the government’s emergency cash assistance program for vulnerable families is simply too low to meet the staggering numbers of displaced people. In their absence, Siham and others are looking elsewhere: family members, and in some cases, small cash handouts from political parties.
Hezbollah also announced last week it would provide up to $14,000 to families whose homes had been destroyed by Israeli attcks, to help cover rent and furniture. It wasn’t clear when the cash handouts would start.
It is a Saturday afternoon in Rami’s family home. His mother and aunts stream through the kitchen as they bake a lunchtime batch of oiled arayes flatbreads lathered in ground beef, spices, and parsley. Rami’s out back, on the walled-in balcony.
It’s an upbeat day in a difficult year. Rami, his parents, and sister fled south Lebanon earlier this year, as the Israeli strikes ramped up again. So did his aunts, his cousins, his grandmother, and his grandmother’s in-home care worker, a woman from Ethiopia. Some 11 or so of them have been living off and on in an apartment near Beirut ever since, cramped into shared bedrooms hours from the houses they own down south.
“But we’re lucky,” Rami tells me, asking that I use a pseudonym to protect his family’s privacy. At least they don’t have to pay rent, as the apartment here on the outskirts of Beirut is owned by an uncle who lives abroad. And some family members still regularly visit their home village of Deir Mimas, which directly overlooks the southern border with Israel, for their jobs as school administrators.
The jobs once guaranteed the family a stable, middle class life. So did Rami’s computer science degree. But after graduating last year, he has yet to find a job — same with most of his friend group, only one of whom is employed.
“We did the math,” he says, between bites of arayes, “and I could just drive a taxi.” It would help cover expenses, especially for groceries — since fleeing the south, the family still sometimes receives parcels of basics like lentils and rice from Christian charities. They’re also doing what they can to save on their generator bill, waiting until the precious couple of hours of government-supplied electricity are running in order to use the laundry machine and other appliances. It’s a bit of a calculus.
“Would you like for him to drive a taxi?” I ask Rami’s mother, turning to her after she walks in from the kitchen.
“Of course I don’t!” she gasps. And yet, she can’t remember ever having been so worried about money before, she admits later on. That’s despite the roughly $700 she still earns per month working as an administrator at a Catholic school down in Deir Mimas, where she braves the three-hour drive every week since the school year began.
Until he can find a job, Rami says he simply spends his days either at home, or hanging out at the nearest Stories, a sort of Starbucks riff-off cafe, with his buddies. His biggest goal now, with few hopes left of a return to normalcy: “Leaving Lebanon.”
Siham, meanwhile, is simply taking things day by day. She hopes her children Ali and Fatima, both young adults, can leave Lebanon and build new lives elsewhere. As for herself, “I no longer have hope. Here in Lebanon, you no longer feel that you can stay steadfast.”
Which is harder for Siham: the bombs of war, or the daily struggle over bills?
“They’re both the same,” Aida, her sister, interjects.
“Of course not!” Siham laughs. “The war is still harder.”
Aida, the grandmother of a family that has lived through multiple wars since 1975, retorts: “I’ve gotten used to all of this.”
“I still get scared. I want to live, for my kids.”
“I could die, it would be fine,” Aida shrugs, still smiling.
It’s time for Siham to leave, to walk the few streets over to cook the day’s lunch. Waiting for her in the apartment are Ali and Fatima.
On the menu for this afternoon: “I’m just throwing something together,” she shrugs. Her eyes moisten. “Tomatoes, bulgur, some onions.”
The living room is empty once again, almost. On the shelf left bare by thieves are, I finally notice, a few shy little plants that Aida scavenged from somewhere outside, rehomed in makeshift plastic-bottle flowerpots.
She doesn’t know their names. One, a tiny tree-looking thing, is brown and naked with no leaves. “I’m trying to save this one, I’m watering it when I can,” she says, bringing it closer to me. It does, in fact, have new little leaves of green sprouting out when I squint closer.
Aida waves at the air. “But if it dies, that’s okay, too.”
** All photos by João Sousa. Sousa is a photojournalist based in Lebanon and focused on social issues.